I recently expressed my feelings about this on a Facebook status and it somehow relates to a blog post I wrote a couple of years ago. I did not anticipate the response, so I stopped for a minute to realize how common this problem is. What are your thoughts?
My experience dating women as a Transguy:
1. A woman who knows I’m Trans and initiates, then tells me she’s a lesbian (No offense to anyone but I like women who are into men). This is the worst because it usually lowered my self-esteem, made me feel like a fetish or reminded me of the things I disliked most about myself.
2. A woman who doesn’t know I’m Trans then when she finds out but realizes she’s attracted to me, starts questioning her sexuality. This requires a lot of energy to invest into your own self-esteem, nurturing the attraction and convincing her that she is normal.
As a Trans guy, I used to think that I run into women that think they’re doing me a favor by dating me… Then I realized it’s not necessarily because I’m Trans… it’s just a thing some women are socialized to believe (that they qualify the guys).. I was overdrinking it… and by doing that I attracted those kinds of women.
I finally reached a point where I started budgeting where I allocate and donate my f***s. And gosh it’s the best feeling ever! I mean I have A LOT more to offer than the average guy (again no offense to anyone…) and any woman would be lucky to have me. Why would I want to attract an insecure or closed-minded woman anyways? Plus when attraction becomes too logical it’s no longer interesting… who wants a boring dating life?
I don’t apologize for who I am and I choose to go for what I want. That is all. And bisexual women who think I’m the best of both worlds… it depends.. because sometimes i think I’m the worst of both, but if I have to see the glass half full, I’ll say my goal isn’t to try to one-up your past relationships but for me to be the “best” is to choose to see it that way based on MY past, not your assumptions. Just actually meet me. SEE me. Experience ME. Then decide.